“Embrace your experience to empower and engage”
Have you ever had a conversation with a child, where you say something they find overwhelmingly profound and crazy funny? This was how the name of this tribute was created: out of a conversation with our daughter, who has a powerful and remarkable story of rising above adverse situations of her own.
I must admit the love of my life and our children bring out the best and the crazy, silly Caribbean in me. I often give a life lesson, quote, or make a statement that gets their tummies hurting in resounding laughter. During our daughter’s college days, I would have daily conversations with her as she walked across her college campus to class. On that particular day, my life came up as a topic of conversation; our work in the community, my style of clothing, our home on Whispering Pines, and how much she appreciates and loves me and her dad’s love for each other. As she ended her thought, in my native dialect, I said, “my life is my life” This started a hilarious round of laughter between both of us. She then said, “Mom, you are golden, that one’s for the books, can I have it tattooed on my arm?” I said, “Girl bye!”
That morning’s conversation led me to reflect, the fact, that my life is truly my life: the good, the bad, the hurt, the pain, and everything in between as I’ve shared with you before.
So, let’s examine the meaning of the statement, “My life is my life!”.
For years, I chose to remain silent and made a conscious effort to not openly share the whole reality that was my life, only sharing with friends who knew of my past and in environments where I felt safe and comfortable. But like I shared a few weeks ago, I knew I needed to be “that voice for the voiceless.” That week’s writing was not easy to document, especially knowing that you’re about to share your scars with people you are not familiar with.
I am so blessed to have an amazing support system- my family and the few who are in my inner circle. I am so very grateful for them, but I’m most grateful for my husband. God gave me the gift of my husband when I saw everything in the world dark and useless. He’s never left my side, he remained close when I was broken, he remained close when I needed space to heal and he didn’t try to “fix me.” He remained close when I trusted no one. He remained close and showed me and our children what true unselfish love looked like. He created a safe space for me to say, “My life is my life.”
If we are honest with ourselves, we want to keep the dark things of our lives hidden, pushed deep down in our memory bank. We never find it good or necessary to embrace the messy part of our lives which is ultimately and can become a message of hope to some who are broken and need to know that they are not alone. As I look at my life, I see that God would not have allowed the mess I’ve been through if he didn’t plan to use it as part of my purposed-message. A message purpose to help—a message purpose that can be impactful in the lives of others.
I see “my life is my life” as a movement to embrace, empower, and engage every aspect of your life for “GOOD”. The good which is your life’s story which will become HIStory that He, the Almighty God uses to touch those lives that you come in contact with at any given moment; may it be one, tens, hundreds, or thousands. EMBRACE the life that you have been dealt with/blessed with. Use your life’s experiences to EMPOWER and use the wisdom you have learned through these life’s circumstances to ENGAGE in the right setting, the next time someone asks you, “tell me about yourself”.
This month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, it’s also a month where we at Reaching Out Now deeply focus on embracing, empowering and embracing our youth through our workshops, JSPN and YES Conference. We are being intentional because so many are broken and hurt and are desperate for support. I count myself as a survivor, an advocate to lift up and support. I’ve been beaten – I’ve been raped – I’ve been bruised – I’ve been broken! But with great adversity and a fight to be better for myself, my husband and our children, I’ve taken back my life and have Embraced, Empowered, and Engaged—and will continue to be that Voice.
Today, I count my life as that of a Phoenix, I was buried in the ashes of pain, hurt and rejection, yet I rise. Today you can rise, and you can rise stronger!
A tribute to those who are victims of domestic violence, there is a better life for you!
A tribute to those who were victims of domestic violence, keep pressing forward!
A tribute to those who we’ve lost at the hands of a domestic violence abuser. May you forever be remembered!
mylifeisMyLife
– Samantha N. Barber
If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, please seek help through one of the many organizations providing assistance in the DMV area:
http://phoenix-project.org/contact-phoenix-project/
https://thelaurelcenter.org/
https://www.thehotline.org/
https://www.centerforabusedpersonscharlescounty.org/
https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline